The Best Christmas Ever

Yes, it was...the best ever! I wish I could go back and relive everything again. Christmas Eve we went to church at 3 with my Mom and Dad, and then returned to their place for dinner. The 23rd was Frances' friend, Mallory, birthday, but we were able to stop by for cake and ice cream later Christmas Eve. Frances was exhausted by the time we got her home and went down in a blink of an eye. Santa came, and boy did he do a great job this Christmas. Frances was amazed by everything...played with it all...and loved every minute of it. The Elmo live was a bit scary to her, but she's gradually getting used to it. She has taken to a stuffed animal that's a puppy black lab...like our Fiona. She won't let go of it! She carries it around and loves on it all day. We spent time with our families and enjoyed watching our Frances take it all in. We even incorporated some Russian customs into our holiday, which will now become part of our Christmas tradition.Oh, it was wonderful! I have to pinch myself to know that having Frances here with us is real. It's finally happened!

Our first Christmas!

I can recall a Wine, Women, and Wonder Bible study ( notice the wine comes first) around this time last year. We were talking about the advent season, the anticipation, the waiting...We closed our eyes and listened to Dana (our Assoc. rector) recite some beautiful readings. Dana eventually asked my thoughts about being a Mom in Waiting and connecting it to the readings. This time last year, my thoughts were that even though I was not with my baby, that our baby was so far away, unable to see them, unable to connect to them; I knew that God was tending to her in preparation of when we could finally be together. I had to rest my fear and doubts, and take time to send thoughts of love to this baby I had yet to meet. Well, one year later...that baby is right here with me...celebrating this magnificent season together. I know exactly what anxiously awaiting means...with the doubts and anger that can sometimes accompany the wait. But now, I look at our little girl and am amazed! Miracles do happen!
Charles and I are so beside our self to celebrate our first Christmas with Frances. Our baby is finally with us..that's all that we ever wanted!

Happy 6 Months!

Happy 6 months of being a family, my sweet girl. Today marks the half year point of you becoming our greatest treasure. I can't imagine life without you, and I stand in amazement at how far you've come. You are our joy! You have given me the most precious title in the world...Mommy...thank you, sweet one. Thank you for all that are and all that you've given your daddy and me. Happy 6 months!

Where has the time gone?

I had every intetion of going into the other room and working out with some of our weights and then crawling in bed to relax the rest of the evening...but my precious angel has shown me that capturing the memories of our life together and writing them down is far more important. I took a minute before writing to look back over our previous entries...I still have tears running down my face as I reread those entries leading up to our greatest miracle. We celebrate six months being together this week...six months! I have been horrible in keeping up with the blog...excuses, excuses..I know. Truly...so much has happened in these past 6 months, I wouldn't know where to begin. We made our move to Raleigh, found and moved into our new home after being in an apt. for three months, and then immediately faced our 6 month home study report for Russia...to name a few. In these 6 months..Frances has learned to walk, talk, giggle, eat with utensils, dance, run, sing, play...yes...this blessed little girl had to actually learn to play. She is our everything...something I thought would never happen has come into our life and become our greatest joy. The attachment has grown stronger each day, and her Daddy lights up her world when he walks in. She started attending a little Mom's Morning Out Preschool here in Wake Forest on Tues. and Thurs.. If they had class officers, I know that girl would be elected President. Don't get me wrong...the girl is one year old...and will show it when she needs to, but she is always so grateful for each new life lesson or experience. She is fascinated with the simplest of pleasures. I learn so much from her, instead of the other way around. I can't wait to share more exciting tales and mishaps about her. Charles and I finally feel as if our life has finally begun, because of her.

In a blink of an eye!

Already we can see Frances is growing leaps and bounds...just in a blink of an eye! We are amazed at the progress she has made in three weeks since we've been home. She waves bye bye, gives high 5's, blows kisses, giggles, and certainly recognizes her name. She is thrilled with everything that comes her way, and is handling our little outings so well. We keep her close and continue to make eye contact with her as we enter new places or meet new people. This past week both Charles and I had to go back to work (I had to just for three days to finish off the school year). The grandparents had their time, and we we didn't know what to expect with leaving her. Each morning as I walked out the door, she was quite involved in play, and didn't shed a tear as I left. I was actually the one to cry as I got in my car and drove off...just one tear, Frances???? Come on! She loves staying busy and going and doing. I can tell if she is bored, and she will not hold back in letting me know. We are gradually picking up the pace and making more venture out dates.

On the flip side, we are facing a rather large move. Yes, we're heading to God's country...North Carolina. After all of these years with Charles working long distance and the toll the commute has taken on him and us, he was offered a job in Raleigh and we will be leaving Richmond in a matter of weeks. Such quick turn around, with mixed emotions. I look at our little girl and I want everything to be the best for her, and hope that this move will help us overcome our obstacles in being a family and will allow this little girl to have the depth of relationship with her daddy as I had with mine. We will leave behind one of the most tremendous support networks, dear friends, comfortable "places to go". This was all founded over time though, and I hope that the same will happen in Raleigh. Back to my ole' stomping grounds!!!

Some pics to complete this wonderful Father's day!

1st Week Down!

We've made it, and now been home exactly one week. I can't believe it. The week has gone by, and Frances is doing so well. Her little world has just been turned upside down, and under the circumstances, she remains a survivor. We're getting the sleep schedule down..well..sleep for her, that is. Charles and I have been furiously trying to play catch up, so there's been little sleep for us. We had her pediatricians appt. on Wed., and Frances did beautifully. Evertime I rock her to sleep, I think to myself that I am so in awe of this precious little one. She is every dream come true!!

Oksana, Oksana, Oksana!!!

It's like the night before Christmas here in Moscow...we are so excited, we are ready for that alarm clock ( or now, Baby Frances), to ring in the morning to start our exit...and then finally our entrance back home. The past couple of days have just...ummmm...been. A little cabin fever with Mama, as I have been outside with Frances once this whole week. There is a path worn in the hall from where we've walked back and forth passing the long hours. The weather has been crummy, keeping us in even more than expected. The good news is we had our interview with the Embassy this afternoon..the last step before boarding the plane to come home. All went well, and it was nice to coral with other families..many of which may be on our plane tomorrow. We've been so lonely, coming into contact with other English speakers was a treat!!
Charles and I looked up the origination of her given Russian name, Oksana. To our joy, we discovered it means "Praise Be to God!", with a Hebrew origination. Our Episcopal priest at St. James', Randy Hollerith, has become such a significant person in my life. My church has brought me so many blessings from my closeness to our Associate Rector, Dana Corsello, the women in our Bible Study, the church community itself. Above all, I attribute so much of my spiritual strength and guidance to the bond established with Randy and Dana. Many years ago, being at crossroads with where I was with my life, my relationships, my frustrations in general...I spoke with Randy on several occasions as to how to get through this very difficult and confusing time. Almost 30 years old, I was tired of meeting Mr. Right Now, the feeling of being stuck with my career, and other personal burdens I felt frustrated with. His words helped me tremendously. A few years later, I hadn't left Richmond for New York to be that aspiring actress or to a university to continue on my doctorate in counseling...but I had met and was engaged to my now husband. Something I truly thought was never going to happen. One Sunday after church, Randy stopped me and mentioned that he wanted me to know I had been in his prayers for all these years. He said that once he witnesses those prayers being nurtured and tended to by our God, he writes a special phrase by the person's name. That phrase is "Praise Be to God!". As we sit here about to end a 2 year journey, and begin another one that will hopefully last us the rest of our lives, I can't help but reflect on how perfect our precious angel's Russian name really is. We have faced the odds and disappoint of not being able to spend 10 months carrying a baby created by us, but I whole heartedly say, "Praise Be to God"for the miracle of our daughter, for her to be brought to us when suited, for the joy she has brought us, and for the blessing she is. Praise Be to God for the woman in some distant country who gave birth to our greatest gift, and saw fit to allow her to be loved and treasured by us. There are moments when I see all things are as they should be. Oksana, Oksana, Okasana!

O.k....8:35 p.m...Richomond..here we come!

Count Down!

The past few days have been wonderful,and certainly an introduction to parenthood! Once we got Frances back to the apt. on Monday, Charles has been hitting the pavement with Eugene going here and there in order to get the process done in order to leave us Saturday. It's been me and the angel for most of the afternoons and early evenings. Today, the Doctor came to the apt. at 7:30 this morning to do her exit exam for the embassy. He said that the only problems he saw was that she is going to have to fight off the boys. Charles did a half laugh, and I could already see the worry rise. All three of us were together for the day..so nice. Charles, being the families early riser, is such an amazing Daddy with her when she wakes. I, on the other hand, am trying to get over needing coffee first thing in order to even speak. We took our first outing to the stores across the street today, and by the end of our jaunt...Frances was laid back at an angle in her stroller with her leg bouncing up and down...like she's telling everyone, "Yeh, life is good now. These are my people with me, and they gave me teething cookies". Tomorrow should be another more relaxed day, and then we have our interview with the American Embassy on Friday. Yippee!!!! We're almost there.

Gotcha Day!!!!!!!!

We made it!! We finally had our gotcha day for Frances Oksana Bennett Gray!!! We are never going to let her go from this moment on. It's been a roller coaster of a day, but the greatest peak came when we arrived at the orphanage ready to pick up out sweet little girl. She had a complete perma grin on her face from the moment we saw her. It was if she knew all along what was going to happen, and actually calming our fears that all was going to be just fine. We changed her clothes (had to leave her old duds behind..even her Big Bird Yellow shoes, sad to say). We had some nice moments with her nannies..who all loved on her and gave us their best. The orphanage director was very kind, and we even got a few pictures of the three of us with a few of her nannies. Frances smiled all the way to the car! She fell asleep shortly, while we were in the car, but woke up as we had to go in and get her passport picture taken. Once home..it was time for lunch. It took us a while to get her down for a nap, but I know she's just totally overwhelmed. She slept and Charles went out with Eugene to continue the errand running needed in order for everything to be complete for us to leave on Sat. It was quite the race, and Frances really had tough go this afternoon. There are times she just clutches me in tears, for fear that I'm going to let her go. I literally just walk around with her, holding her. We will certainly share the route we decide on to help with attachment, but we can quickly see it will be a long road..but such an amazing one now that she is with us.

The week ahead will be filled with visits to the Embassy for her visa and paperwork needed to enter the country, and also her Dr.'s appt. Wé made it though...the best part is finally here.

Tick, Tock...

We are winding down another day...slowly, but surely. Let's see...the past few days have been busy and full. Monday, we found out we had another visit to see Baby Girl....wonderful surprise. We spent just a few hours with her in the morning. There is a lady there who must be the "music teacher", as she walks around to the separate groups of children at the orphanage and plays the accordion. The children dance and sing...it's so sweet to watch. Well, she was out walking to the play areas to have the assigned music time, as we walked by with Baby Girl. Our little precious one got the biggest grin on her face, started swinging her legs, moving her arms, giggling up a storm. Oh..she loves music!! The accordion lady didn't mind us staying out by the gate to the play area..so we spent quite some time just having a ball. It's a true wonder to already see such a creative side and glimpses into her personality.

Our afternoon was spent getting some papers taken care of that are needed for the end of the week. Yesterday, our apt. rental guy (the Aussie I referred to earlier) took us on our adventure of the metro. It was so kind of him to show us around and to spend time with us. It was a treat to be with another English speaking person, who "really understood us."The metro is amazing!!! The stops are so clean, and quite the architectural sight. Chandeliers, marble, sculptures..I could go on. They are something to see, though. The metro trains have a very quick get up and go, so you really have to be holding on before take off. Well, for one of our rides we were short on holding bars, so I held onto Charles and he tried to ground himself. In no time, Charles looses his balance and goes falling into a young businessman type with a really nice suit on. I'm trying to grab Charles and yet not laugh at the expression of complete surprise on this other's man face. We were a bit scared as to how this other man would react, but thankfully he didn't return the blow. It would of been a great visa commercial, though. I can see it now "Adopting a child of your heart from Moscow, Russia...expensive..having your husband barrel into some random stranger in a foreign country...priceless!!!! After a whirlwind tour, we grabbed some dinner and called it a day. Today, we got a late start on things, but ventured down to Red Square. We walked around the gardens next to the Kremlin, and then went inside St. Basil's Cathedral. We made a few stops back, and then returned home for the late afternoon. We are getting ready to call it a day. No idea as to when we pick up Baby Girl...maybe Sat.?????Maybe Sunday???? We'll just have to wait and see. Love to everyone!!!

Still Waiting.......

Over the past two years, we have been so used to hurrying to and fro in the paperchase for the adoption that we seem to have forgotten how to cope with not having much to do. Don't get me wrong, there have been times in the past week that we have been very busy but we have not been consistently busy on a day to day basis. We are finding it difficult to fill our days and break the boredom as we wait. Part of this is that we are deliberately leaving our schedule open in case we have to take care of something for the Agency which seems to be a spur of the moment thing at times. The other part is that everything is so new here and we are a bit overwhelmed. Slowly, we are beginning to explore more due in part to our curiosity. No matter how guarded we are, the curiosity of being in a new place helps us to seek out new experiences. I guess this is exactly how the baby will feel when we she arrives at her new home.....somewhat helpless, hesitant, and untrusting. Just as we have learned to venture out over the past few days, the baby will also learn to adapt to her new environment.......I think resiliency is just human nature and in a way, curiosity breeds resiliency.

On the lighter side........It was a very special Mother's Day.......we were able to visit with the baby twice followed by a visit to The Cathedral of Christ the Saviour. Shannon had the opportunity to hold the baby using the "baby sling" which definitely made it alot easier to carry the baby on our walks at the ophanage and it also seemed to help with bonding with the baby. During the break in between visits, Sergei was kind enough to give us a guided tour of the Cathedral. As we walked in, we were speechless....nothing prepared us for the awe inspiring beauty and peacefulness. Unfortunately photographs are not allowed on the interior. I can honestly say that I have never seen any thing quite like it and I probably never will again...it was that powerful. We also visited the Pushkin Museum of Art.....quite an impressionist collection. Before the end of the week, we plan to tour the Kremlin if possible. Not quite sure what else....stay tuned.

Could someone turn the lights out, please!

Good morning, all! Just a quick check in. We have really enjoyed some down time these past couple of days. We've rested up and caught up on some reading. Been wonderful. Of course, we can't forget a little "Billy's Bootcamp"to keep us going in the in between. Yesterday was Victory Day here...quite the big holiday for the Russians. It celebrates their victory over Germany in WW II. There were some big ceremonies in Red Square, and then a massive parade with all kinds of military goodies. We were able to stand at a window in our apt. and watch it all go by.

The amount of hours of sunlight here is crazy!!!! It's still very visible at 10 at night, and then the sun starts peeking up about 5 in the morning. A bit difficult to sleep!! We can't get over how bright it is. On the flight, they provide some eye covers (the little sleeping shades). Thank goodness I kept them...they have been used nightly! Talk about looking like a Princess while sleeping!!

Today, we're going to venture out some and see some sights. We need to get out and get stirring. I even think we're going to swing by a museum!!!! Tomorrow, we received approval to go see Baby Girl for Mother's Day. We are thrilled they are letting us go on a Sunday. We're going to try and take some pictures of the apt. and post on the blog tonight. Hoping everyone is well!!

Billy Banks Bootcamp is kicking Mama's Bootie!

No major news today...so we'll share some funny ha ha's taken place these past few days. First...now I admit I'm a bit OCD about excercise. Not afraid to admit it..but I love a good workout. Well..being limited about working out these coming weeks has increased my anxiety. A friend from work passed along some Billy Bootcamp DVD's to use while away. It's a combo kickboxing, weight resistance with straps. Ummmm...it's breaking me down. First day didn't count since I was just going along ""kind of sort of"". Yesterday after court I needed some stress relief so I did it in the afternoon before leaving for our 2nd visit to the orphanage. I was so in pain I was making yelping noises so badly that Charles ran in to check on me. Walking like an 85 year old, and I could barely carry my precious one...my arms were so sore. We'll see what tomorrow brings!

Second...our little precious dainty angel can shovel down some cookies, now. Good gracious!!!! The nannies at the orphanage have been so good this week about letting us feed her to help increase attachment. Today she had a type of teething cookie, and I seriously thought I was going to have to rescue her hand...whoah!!!! Cookie all over her face, and when her hand would come away from her mouth...she would stick her tongue out trying to lick the cookie from a far. How much have groceries gone up?

She is now saying "Da Da"". Yay!!!! Not getting many mama's out of her, but her da da's are coming rapidly. Boy, does she loves her daddy.It did take us by surprise when we held a little plastic duck and she referred to that as Da Da , too. Oh, well. She's talking, and it's all music to our ears.

We're winding down for the night, but continue to send our love to everyone! We miss you.

They grow up quickly!

We interrupt this post to bring you this important news bulletin.......We had our day in court and everthing went well. We received approval for the adoption!!! We are very excited and happy to be able to share this news with all of you and will continue to post througout the 10 day waiting period.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming......I now know what everyone has been trying to tell us over the past few years.......Enjoy every moment because they grow up quickly! We returned to Moscow with the mindset that the baby would make little progress with skills development in just two months. We thought this was a pretty realistic expectation. Boy were we wrong....she is now a little fireball. We are very happy to see that our little girl has made vast progress and also very tired after playing with her all day. I attribute all of this to the care that she is receiving at the orphanage and remain impressed with the staff there......they must be doing something right or maybe the baby was just holding back on the first trip until she decided what type of people we are. She has very quickly proven to be a daredevil (loves to fly around the room in my arms like a superhero), a marathon runner (always wants help in walking around), a boxer (I was hit in the lip several times today with toys) and finally, a wrestler (she pulled Shannon's hair several times, stuck her finger in my eye, and stretched my cheeks as if I needed them stretched). I guess she wanted my cheeks to be puffy like hers. She also has fun deciding how I can be holding her and also appear in the mirror at the same time. I can't tell you how good it make us feel to see her thriving as she is.

Take Two!

We're back!!!!! The past 8 weeks have come and gone, and we finally got our 2nd call April 25th. Again, it had been another roller coaster of a week and Charles and I were convinced we were never going to get that call. It was a happy moment. We were told our court date would be May 6th, but that they wouldn't know our travel dates until Monday...leaving us with 5 days to get ready. Our time here will be May 3rd-May 24th. Three whole weeks.

The flight was looooong, but we made it. We spent the week getting ready from last min. shopping to setting up the critter watch schedule (thanks to all who are chipping in to take care of those furry babies!!!). The week was spent with so many well wishes and even a goody bag was made for us!! Yum!!!! Thank you to all!! We arrived in Moscow Sun. late morning. Eugene was there to greet us, and it became like old times very quickly. We made it to the apt., who we are renting from an Australian man...he is so nice. The apt. is gorgeous, and we will certainly enjoy calling this home for three weeks. The Aussie and Eugene walked us to the nearest grocery store, so were able to get a few items we needed. Charles has referred to our eating and lifestyle here our Russian boot camp, but we're making it just fine. Early to bed last night, and ready to hit the ground running this morning. Sergei was our driver today...great guy!!!! We spent the morning with our precious girl....outside in the play area. The weather has been so glorious, so it was nice to play with her and enjoy the fresh air. We are both astounded as to how much she has grown and developed in 8 weeks. She had been so fearful and hesitiant the first trip...now...ummmm, well, we are fighting to keep up with her. Our first treat was to see that she finally started walking. We have to hold onto her, but boy is she proud of herself. She smiles the whole time she's walking, and then looks at us as if to say, "I've been practicing for you..look at me!!"She's gotten bigger and is so healthy. Our next treat was when Charles was walking her to me, she looked up at me and said, "Mama". Well, tears just start running down our faces. The happiest moment I've ever had. I couldn't of asked for a more perfect Mother's Day gift. She is smiling, clapping, and she likes to be a "faker". She'll cough to get our attention, and then she'll giggle...and then fake cough again and again. Oh, we could go on as to how she amazes us. Needless to say, our 2 visits today were amazing.

We have court tomorrow...please keep us in your prayers as we are a bit nervous about all this. We are trying to be as prepared as we can be, but just don't know what to expect. Once the judge approves us, we will have to wait ten days until we can get her. At first I really dreaded this wait, but I finally see that all of this is a once and lifetime situation...enjoy this great city. It's beautiful, so much to see and do, and the weather is perfect. It's time for life to start being lived, as it has been on hold for us for too long.

We'll write again tomorrow...I also wanted to give a big thanks to everyone for so many of the wonderful things that happened to make our 8 weeks waiting for this to be memorable.We are so blessed, and couldn't of made it without all of your love and prayers.

Still Waiting

A month...I can't believe a month has gone by since we have left our sweet baby girl. It's all been such a blur, I have to pinch myself in order to remember that it really did happen. In the month we have been home, it has been full speed ahead...from house projects needing attention, preparing for Baby Gray, and work itself has been incredibly demanding. Forgive me, as that is the reason I have not written before. I also have felt that if I were to sit down and actually think about all that we have gone through and the continued separation from our baby, I may just break. We went through another rat race in getting "more forms" completed. We finally sent them off Friday, and continue to wait for our court hearing date. They say possibly May, but still unknown. Living on a wing and many prayers. We are just wanting that call to happen now, and to get our life going. It's hard when life...as normal, moves on, and yet this whole adoption process forces us to stand still, unable to make decisions or even just live. It just defies logic. I promise I'll try to do better with updates.

Time is over

I can't believe it...we leave tomorrow. We leave this precious baby girl, and all we can do is continue to pray that our invite back for court will come quickly. Today was quite bittersweet. Officially, we were only allowed two days for visits to the orphanage, two times each of those days. I think because of the pathedic look on our faces at the end of our two days alotted, they gave us a "freebie" visit yesterday. It was so quick, but at least we held her in our arms once during the day. We asked, and begged, for Eugene to let us see her today (friday). We paid him a days wages (trust me, with Moscow traffic...it takes a complete day to make this little drive across town), and he stepped up and took us. She had quite the traumatic morning with her schedule, so we only saw her for 15 min. the first time today. She went straight ino my arms and settled in contently. No cries, no fear...just recognition that this lady must be someone I need to get to know. She fell asleep in my arms, and before I knew it her nanny came to get her. Tears just started to flow, knowing that there was only one more time to be with her before such a long absence. We went and sat for while with Eugene in a coffee shop. I tend to feel like the third wheel, as he and Charles get caught up in conversations like teenage girls on their cell phones. It was really nice to get to know Eugene on a more personal basis. He has been working with international adoptions for 12 years, and has a very interesting history. He's our age, and such a hardworker. We had our 2nd visit, and each moment seemed to disappear into a distant memory. She was not feeling well, so our time was very quiet and tender. We saw her nanny come in, and fought to hide the tears. We had a blanket, teddy, and a few pictures of us we wanted to leave with her. I passed them onto to her nanny, and then Baby Girl. It took a while to get ourselves together after she left, but we then headed downstais to leave. We know that her caregivers love her and take such good care of her. We have often been told that she is one of the "favorites". It still aches inside knowing that there is more time to experience without her, until we can hold her forever. This experience has already changed our lives in such profound and amazing ways. There is also this thing called "the love of a parent", which Charles and I are still in awe as to the depth this can run.
We did get to spend her 1st birthday with her this week. What a blessing! We are already making memories. Our prayers continue as we await getting her home.

Time is flying by!

We are mid week already...and I can feel the sadness grow within us as we realize we only have a couple days left with this sweet baby girl. Today was so wonderful. We spent a whole two hours with her this morning. We played and read books. All of a sudden, her eyes began to flutter, and in seconds she was out like a light in Charles' arms. We think that is good sign...as it shows she was so relaxed in his arms, that she was comfortable enough to sleep. She slept for about 20 minutes...and then it was back to play time. She loves the stacking cups. She holds one in each hand, and will not let them go. Oh, she is so much fun!!! She really gets a kick out of peek a boo. She doesn't yet grasp the game..but boy does it make her giggle. We got her first laugh out of her today. Too precious to desribe. We had a quick trip around town this afternoon with Eugene, our driver. We ran up to St. Basil..and then literally right back to the car. Freezing cold weather. It hurt to smile, as my teeth became icecicles. We headed back to the orphanage for another quick visit with her, but had to wait for a bit. It was so nice to sit still, we could of fallen asleep. She came to see us in a little dress with a bow clip in her hair. Oh...it pulled at my heart. This girl will have quite the collection of ribbons and bows, if I have anything to say about it. Charles already warned her! I guess this may be payback after all of the times I ripped and pulled bows out of my hair..right before my school pictures. We are back home now, and quickly fading. I am thinking an early bedtime tonight. It was Eugene's birthday today..which he never mentioned! We found out thru someone else who was working with the three of us late this eve. Poor thing was missing out on his birthday celebration..just so we can have peace of mind each day. Fabulous person!!!

We wanted to send out a very big thank you to our parents for all they have done to support us. We are so blessed to have such amazing parents, and as we get closer to getting this baby girl home...I know there will be a daily committment made for Charles and I to set the same examples and to serve as a loving guiding force for Baby Girl Gray as our parents did for us. The yard sale was fabulous, and so many thanks to all of our familyand friends who helped donate items for the sale. You all have been so loving and giving to us! Thank you!!

The case of the flooding washer and not so good but downright expensive pizza!

We're here!! Yes, we flew across that little ole' pond and over some land to a place called Moscow Russia. Quite the ride!! Long flight...with a man on the other side of the plane that snored like there was no tomorrow! Little to no sleep, but we made it. We then met our driver..who has quickly become our new best friend. He is fabulous!!! It has been culture shock, to say the least, but he has not lef tour side during the day, and has guided through so much. By 2, we got settled into the apt. Not much to look at, but it will be fine to call it home for a week. Because I am such a germaphob, I have been spraying down every thing possible with Lysol. I thought I was being so proative by taking all of the towels and putting them into the wash. Charles and I couldn't figure out a lick of directions for this machine, so we took our chances and just guessed. After the clothes washing for literally two and a half hours...we saw that the kitchen floor (where the wash is located) had flooded. Oops!! There isn't a dryer..just a drying rack so we hung all of the towels. Once we solved the problem, we can honestly say we have the cleanest towels in the world.

We forged thru our exhaustion, and went to find something to eat. It is our goal now to have pizza in as many places in the world as possible. So...we found a place close by that looked like a great place to eat. We tried to plan ahead as to the cost, but were shocked at the outcome. The pizza was not the greatest..at all. It made our thin crust pizza back home look like thick crust. We survived, though.

Today was eventful. We went to the Ministry of Education first to receive our referral. It's a Baby Girl!!! She's 12 mo old, and absolutley beautiful. Oh, she captured our hearts from the moment we met her. We were able to see her twice today..before and after nap time. Things went much better after her nap, to say the least. Oh, I can't begn to explain how gogeous she is! We played with her, read her books, and even introduced Peek a Boo to her..with me running all around "hiding" She adores Charles!!!I can tell already she feels safe in those arms. She watches everything I do, but will then turn to him to check that he's still the one holding her. I also think she's checking for reassurance from him that I am not the crazy lady I have been acting. It broke our hearts to leave her, but will go back tomorrow for two more play times. We can't wait. Everything is still very preliminary. We are getting feedback from dr.'s here in the states to confirm some medical aspects before we give the approval. She already has our hearts. We will update tomorrow with more news. Wishing everyone well!!

I felt the baby kick!

Yes...we just felt our baby"kick" Thursday night; letting us know that the time is approaching when they will finally be with us. This week has been a bit demanding...Charles starting a new position with the FDA and gone ever day this week, and of course the rat race we led with being asked to hurry and complete some additional forms. Thursday was my dear friend's birthday, so that evening I went and joined her to celebrate her special day. Charles arrived in Richmond by 8 and joined us. As exhausted as we were, we made it until 9 p.m. and then headed home. I walked in the house first and let Fiona out the front door to greet her daddy. I picked up the phone to check messages, but first saw our agency coordinator's cell number on our caller i.d. My heart began to race, and quickly listened to the message. I heard words like "get ready", "you've been invited to Moscow", "leave March 2nd". Shaking all over, I began knocking on our glass front door to beckon Charles in. I couldn't speak, but motioned over and over to come inside. When he walked through the door all I could say was "We're leaving!!! It's time." Poor guy, as tired as he was, probably thought the bird flu was about to hit and we needed to get out of town. When I was able to finish speaking, we just cried. It really is here, it's time. All of this waiting and uncertainty is beginning to approach some resolution. We don't have any information on the baby...what they call a blind referral. Our list of things to do is a mile long, and and the questions and fears are still growing. We just know that next Sun. the 2nd we'll be on our way to meet a baby, who we pray will become our baby. I'll update each day as we're over. We are not able to share too much information about the baby online, due to confidentiality of the baby, but I will certainly keep everyone posted as to how everything is proceeding. We had hit rock bottom before this call...just at odds with so much of this journey. This week has reaffirmed our journey being one of love and support...from so many people. Charles and I are so blessed...we could not of made it through this without your love. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Bon voyage!

Life is always good.

I happened to find myself at the center of a humorous exchange while on the final leg of my mega commute to work this week. I was on the Washington, D.C. Metro when I found myself seated in the middle of two teachers who were discussing the progress of a troubled student. I don’t usually eavesdrop on conversations, especially those that occur between most patrons on the metro, but this one especially caught my attention because I heard the words “geometry” and “chemistry” mentioned in the same sentence. I know…call me weird or a nerd if you want…most people would never want to listen to a conversation that involves math or a conversation that involves science and certainly not one that involves both in the same sentence. I tuned into this exchange like Fiona, our black lab, when the word “treat” is mentioned. The following is a transcript of the conversation:

Teacher 1: I just can’t understand how this student can do so well in geometry and do sooo poorly in chemistry.
Teacher 2: I wouldn’t take it personally, some students just like math more so than science. I’m sure you are doing everything you can.
Teacher 1: It’s just a shame that the student is going to ruin a good year with a poor showing in chemistry.
Teacher 2: Well chemistry is one of those subjects that you take in high school because it’s required, get by the best you can, and then you never, ever use it again.

At this point, I nearly burst into laughter at the irony of the situation. Here I am, a Chemist, in the middle of a revelation that chemistry is useless after high school. I probably should have spoken up but I wasn’t sure if the teachers would find the situation humorous also or if they would be embarrassed so I just kept it to myself.

For the rest of the trip, I began to think about just how many things come into and out of our life with seemingly little purpose at the moment, but can become immeasurably important as life transpires. I can’t fault the teachers because, in high school, I surely never thought that chemistry would one day pay some of the bills and I certainly couldn’t foresee being immersed in chemistry up to my armpits. Back then, I would have defined chemistry as torture instead of a career.

I know what you are thinking…..this is a blog about adoption and how does this little story relate. Well the story relates to life in general and right now our life is adoption. It describes how life indiscriminately puts us in situations that teach strength and patience though we might not realize it at the time; it illustrates how people, who are seemingly just acquaintances, can unexpectedly have huge impacts on your life and become your biggest supporters, and it teaches that we need to acknowledge and embrace everything that happens in life, good or bad/important or unimportant, because each thing molds us into the people we are and prepares us for things to come. I truly believe everything that has happened in our life has prepared us for this adoption and we have been truly blessed by the people that have entered our lives in recent years who have shared similar experiences even before our adoption journey was ever conceived. As the years pass, I become more and more convinced that life is completely scripted and we are on a journey that was set in stone even before we were ever conceived. Sure we have our little diversions, but we never stray too far from what was meant to be and sometimes the diversions remind us of where we need to be. It took just two complete strangers, less than five minutes of conversation, and a prying ear to remind me that everything in life is important…..life is always good.