A Wonderful Christmas Gift

There are still miracles!! Christmas came early for the Gray Team, this year. In my last write up, I mentioned the hold ups due to the reaccreditation process with our adoption. We received the wonderful news that on Friday, the 21st, our agency received their accreditation papers from the Ministry of Education. One step closer to our baby! This will hopefully speed things up a bit. We wanted to share this exciting news with you, and to wish you all a very Happy New Year. 2008 will be a most special year! Enclosed below is the email we received from our agency announcing this news!

Children's Hope International is happy to announce that as of December 14, 2007 we were officially accredited in the Russian Federation!
Children's Hope International is pleased to announce that as of December 14, 2007 we received official order #355 from the Ministry of Education, signed on December 14, 2007. We also received an Accreditation certificate #31, issued on December 19, 2007 granting us authority to place children for adoption from within the territory of the Russian Federation. This accreditation will be non expiring.
Congratulations!!!!!!!

Before...and after...

Yes...I know. I've been the negligent blog keeper. We were so amped and excited to finally get it up and running, and now...well, there's just no excuse. There haven't been updates with our agency, either. Quiet...way too quiet. Just a little background about American agencies overseeing adoptions in Russia. Last spring...all agencies lost accreditation to adopt from Russia, and had to go through a reaccreditation process. They turned in volumes of paper work to the Russian government, along with many other "duties"...I am sure! The beginning of July, Russia announced the first batch of agencies that had been reaccreditated. A few more went through a few weeks later, and then more just a few weeks ago. Our agency has not been reaccreditated, yet. Adoptions are still continuing with our agency...just on a very slow and cautious speed. It does make us nervous, frustrated, scared, and on. We just have to keep our fingers crossed that all will happen when it is supposed to, and let the rest just be. Not an easy task to do when we've already been going through all this for so long. Oh, how I wish things could be so different.

We're staying busy, though. Never a dull moment with the Gray Team! Wonderful friends have taken time to take me to register at Babies R Us ( really hard to do when we're not sure of the weight or gender...whew!!...but so much fun no matter). I even had an afternoon with a good friend who helped make Mr. Froggy II come to life. For those of you who don't know... a little background. As you read in Charles' blog, we're going with a froggy theme for the nursery. I've had a a great love for "Froggies" forever (not the real ones, of course). When I was about two years old, my Mom and I made what would become my Mr. Froggy. Inseparable would be a good word to describe us. Life was not right without my Mr. Froggy. Well...this continued into my adulthood. Don't laugh.. I know I"m not the only one! When Charles and I returned to our house after our honeymoon..my Mr. Froggy had disappeared. I'd already spent a whole week away from him, and now this! My mom, who had stayed at the house to critter sit, had taken him and used him a cushion for one of our new bed pillows. She left a note saying that now that I had found my Prince Charming, there was no need for the frog man! It's not been easy, I must confess. Once we decided to go with the frogs for the nursery, Charles was on ebay looking at some things. He called me into the room and said, "Isn't this the same pattern used for your Mr. Froggy?" What???It couldn't be! He had found the exact replica of my most cherished possession. "Order it!!!!!", I screamed!! Tears started running down my face remembering being a child, and knowing that our child will have a chance to make more memories with their Mr. Froggy. In Nov., I sat down with my friend and we made Mr. Froggy II come true. He's waiting for our child, too. I placed mine and jr's frogs next to each other in the crib, and began praying that in another 34 years, Mr. Froggy II will look as loved and beautiful as mine is today. Thank you to my friend who helped me with this special act of love.

The Latest

It's Friday night, and I am finally able to sit down for a moment. Charles has gone to help out with a function at church, so it's just me and the critters about to curl up and call it a day. I called our case manager with our adoption agency this week, and was able to get a bit of an update. It wasn't the uplifting conversation I hoped for, but she is so wonderful about being open and supportive. Sometimes things "are what they are", and there's no way around it. This is very true with the adoption process. Basically, we've logged in about 5 months of waiting. There are still accreditation issues the Russian government is sorting through, and until then things are moving very slow. The ages of the children are also creeping up a bit. Our fingers are crossed that our baby is under one and half...it saddens me to know we would of missed even that much of our child's life, I couldn't bare if they were any older for that fact. There's no way to tell a time frame as to when we may receive our referral, so we've even stopped guesstimating things could be in motion by"late spring", and have resigned ourselves to keeping time lines out of discussions. It was about this time last year that we made this leap of faith, and began getting information about international adoption. A year has passed, and we're facing another holiday season without our child. I've always been a big believer that the holidays are for children. Their laughter. The anticipation. The excitement. When experienced through their eyes, it brings about the most amazing purpose to the holidays. Charles and I turn to each other to prepare for another time that can become so empty. We are each other's rock. We continue to hold onto the faith we have in God's timing, and trust that all will be as it should. Our miracle, our blessing, our angel, will be with us when it is meant to be. I don't dare rush God's timing with something so perfect.

Responsibility

To many visitors to this blog, it may seem that Shannon has been telling our "adoption story" and if you made this assumption you are correct. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is usually a duck. The reasons for this are quite complex, or at least in my mind, and I will attempt to offer a few well-thought out excuses. First of all, never underestimate the laziness and stubbornness of men when it comes to sharing things from the heart though men usually have plenty to say. Secondly, Shannon has a way of telling a story as if she was talking to an old friend and I have been perfectly content with her as the narrator because it is clear that she is fundamentally gifted in this regard and why would I ever want to tinker with absolute perfection. And last, there is a running joke in this family about Shannon's quest to conquer this technology-driven world and I have to admit that she may have just done that in the best way possible as this will serve as a link to you all throughout this whole process....what a gift and I am so proud of her.

So now I guess it is my turn to say some of the things that men have to say but lack the skills to do so. I think, for me, the thing that has been most rewarding from this whole experience thus far is born out of the complexity of the process and the exhaustion that we have felt while trying to negotiate the many obstacles. Shannon and I have been through many trying times as a newly married couple, but this is the single most important thing that has happened to both of us since we exchanged our wedding vows. I don't think we really knew how close we were until we had to get in the foxhole together and figure out how to make it through this without completely going insane. I don't think we were aware of our collective fortitude until now and we have become this great, strong team and we will only get stronger because it's not over yet. We have learned a lot about one another......we have learned to trust one another and we have displayed individual responsibility that seemingly was nonexistent before. I even amaze myself at times because there is something about pending fatherhood that makes you see the world differently...almost an instinctual anomaly from the normal routine as if you are preparing the "nest" for the pending arrival. I will offer the following example to illustrate my point:

Shannon and I decided that while we were in this long waiting period that we would get a jump on decorating the nursery.....I know it seems a bit early but life just can't stop while we wait and it's actually a lot of fun though Shannon wouldn't describe it as such when I was in one of my many rants about painting.....my least favorite task. I like to think I stepped up to the plate for this one if I could indulge myself for a brief moment. A few weeks earlier, Shannon had gone to Lowe's and brought home several paint samples as we had previously agreed that green was a good color for the baby's room and we envisioned a frog theme.....no, not like the Australian rain forest....cute frogs, the type that all kids adore and the type that Shannon herself adored as a kid. I remember looking at the paint samples and thinking that the greens seemed a bit "bright". Forgive me, I was thinking like a man. What came next infused enough fear into me to make Texas Chainsaw Massacre seem like a children's movie......she wanted alternating green and white stripes. Could I really pull this off or should I call in reinforcements? After collecting myself, researching stripe painting technique on the Internet, and reading an article on stripe painting that had been clipped from a home improvement magazine, I would eventually get started. I went into the project with the mindset that I would just get it done as quickly as possible without paying much attention to the quality of the job. A strange transformation happened about two minutes into the project when I began to think about my "child to be" spending the majority of his/her time in this room. My mission changed from "let's just get it done" to "my child deserves the best I have to offer". We set about with chalk line, tape, rollers and brushes of various sizes, and "bright" green paint. At times we resembled mad scientists trying to recreate Frankenstein. We weren't really sure how this would turn out, but it would not be for a lack of effort. I think we were both surprised when we removed the tape and revealed what the hard work had given us.....perfection....not because every stripe is crisp and well aligned, not because we didn't occasionally splash green paint onto the white stripes, but because we had given it our all and we had done it together for our child who we do not yet know and who will be perfect to us. In the days following I would go through and replace all of the electrical outlets and switches in the room because this has to make the room more safe...right? Who knows, but the point is a sense of responsibility kicked in from some unfamiliar region of the soul and it felt good and it continues to grow daily.

Things to do!

Well, I'm finally home from teaching yoga, and getting ready to settle down in a minute to watch "Grey's Anatomy". Charles just walked in the door after another whirl wind tour to Maryland and back. Another day in the life of the "Gray Team"!!

We had a consult meeting with an area pediatrician this week. Charles thinks it's quite funny how disappointed I get when I realize that not all practices or hospitals have the goings on as my fav. "Grey's Anatomy". There wasn't a Dr. McDreamy in sight! As we waited...and waited...and waited..and waited to meet this particular Dr., Charles and I sat in one of the rooms. As we watched the clock, we began to hear this screaming coming from the next room..accompanied by,"Don't let them touch me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" After minutes of this continuing with loud "booms" occurring randomly, Charles and I looked at each other with eyes wide. We both gave a nervous laugh, and then he said, "Are we really going to want to bring our child here, now?" Uh, no!!!! Needless to say, we've decided to go else where for the medical needs of our child. One where there's a lot less screaming bloody murder...or where they at least have sound proof rooms!

I have decided to make a list of things we're going to do while waiting. Many of you may have known...one of these things was to run the Army 10 miler in DC this past weekend. Well..it didn't work out so well. My knees started aching pretty bad 4 days before the race, so I decided being able to walk and enjoy myself at at 70 was more important. I was disappointed after all the hard work getting ready, but my yoga practice has certainly helped me let go of all these expectations and demands I place on myself. Besides the enormous amount of reading we have ahead, I'm trying to:

1. Grow my hair out until the adoption is over, and then donate it to Locks of Love. I'm already writing a letter of apology for whoever will get this head of hair, for all the gray it has acquired in just 33 years.

2. Learn Russian...at least "Please" and "Thank you".

3. Take as many kickboxing or hip hop dance classes I possibly can. Gotta get this anxiety out somehow...

4. Then take as many yoga classes to bring me down..nice and peaceful!!

5. Spoil Fiona, Shelby, and Leo as much as possible. This has actually been going on since the beginning of time, but it makes them feel good to be included.
6. Charles and I want to enjoy as much time together, as possible.Whether it's just to take 5 min. when we get home to catch up, or even a quick get away...we both know how special this waiting time can be

Anyone have any other ideas???Let us know!!

Going to get settled in for my show!! Love to all!!

My brain hurts!

The other day I was working with one of my kindergartner's. This little guy has quickly become "my favorite", even though I claim I don't have one. He had been working so hard in his classroom and then began to rub his head.He then looked up to me and said, "My brain hurts!" I thought to myself, oh honie...mine hurts, too! There are so many things in life I have yet to wrap my little brain around; all of the ins and outs and the unknown with bringing our baby home I continuously worry about and that keep me up at night. My brain really does hurt! In the same light, having our baby finally home seems so unreal at this point. I still can't believe it's going to happen.
Charles and I went to the Feast of St. James's last week and had an absolutely fabulous time. Quite a few times throughout the night, friends mentioned that this time next year we will be searching the babysitter market in order to get to come.What??? Who were they talking to? On one hand, a year seems like eternity right now. On the other...becoming parents has been what we've been waiting for and I am in disbelief things will hopefully change in such a short period of time. I think back to when I was a child and the games I used to play. Even with both parents as teachers, I never did enjoy "playing school". We had enough of that in my household, already. Instead, I played Mom. My dolls went everywhere I went. I made them take naps, fed them from their bottles, and sang to them as if it would truly put them to sleep. It's truly all I've ever wanted to be. Even in my sorority while in college...I was the "Pledge Mom"..looking out after those fresh faces to make sure they were taken care of. Today, I drive an SUV big enough to take over a city block. My friends have kindly referred to me as the one with the soccer mom car. Well...the only thing I'm carting around now would be Shelby ( my older cat) to the shrink for some more anti anxiety medicine, Fiona to the orthodontist to get her over bite fixed, and Leo (my boy kitty) to over eaters anonymous!!One can never predict what the future holds... I just know both Charles and I are so ready to face head on!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!!

A Little 411

Well, this whole process has been somewhat confusing for us..so I can imagine what's it's like listening to us trying to explain certain things. There needs to be a workshop or something, just for friends and family of those internationally adopting, to help review what in the world we're doing. I thought I'd go over a general time frame of important dates we've had...just to help make sense to some things. It all started back when...just kidding!! The condensed version, please!!!
2007
January 25th- We received our approval letter for our adoption agency
February 13th- Homestudy Process begins
February/April-Paperwork City for our Dossier
March 1st- The infamous Home Visit
March 6th- Dun, Dun, Dun...Fingerprinting in Norfolk for Immigration Services
May- Homestudy write up complete
May- Sent off application for 160...requesting permission from USA to adopt Internationally
June- Received 171..permission granted!
June 19th- Sent off dossier to CHI (our agency)
July 6th- CHI sent off our translated dossier to Russia
July-?????Waiting, waiting, and waiting!

Well, hope this helps a bit more. We'll keep you posted!!!

The waiting game

Two days after our 2nd anniversary, and our hearts and minds are on this waiting game we have before us. It is so difficult knowing so much of this journey is out of our control. .. (the day we get our phone call, all the way up to the moment when we will hopefully go to the baby home to pick up our child and begin the journey back home).There really isn't anything I can write at this time...simply allowing the many thoughts and questions to arise. We're just starting the waiting, but we do plan on updating as we continue along with getting ready for our miracle. So much love to all of you who continue to keep us in your prayers.